I have a million and one things to be grateful for.
First, I am grateful for my husband. He has his flaws and I am often too quick to point them out, but this man has stuck by my side no matter how hard I have tried to push him away. He always forgives and forgets any of the hurtful things I have said that have manifested from my grief. He is an excellent father, who puts more effort in to our daughter than many other men I have witnessed. He strives to always provide for his family and the level of trust I have in him goes beyond anything I can put in to words. He is goofy, smart, fun loving and many other wonderful things. I need to work on showing this man how incredibly grateful I am for him and everything he has done for us.
Since the death of our son I have noticed that my perspective has totally changed. I am able to see the beauty in the small things in life. I take the time to notice them and comment on them. I feel the need to do this in order to honor our son who never got the chance to see the sunset, feel the warm sun on his face, or stick his toes in the sand. I am grateful that I was given the chance to be his mother, even if it meant only having a brief time with him.
Our daughter also inspires me to enjoy the small things as I get to see her explore and learn more about this world. It’s like seeing everything in a new light. I am so very grateful God made her whole and healthy so she is able to enjoy these things and teach me so much about this world.
I could go on for days on all of the things I am grateful for. I truly have a blessed life, athough I do struggle to remember this when I am at my lowest point in my grief. I wish the saying “look on the bright side” could erase the pain, but it doesn’t. All of the things I am grateful for do make my life happier, but they do not erase the pain of loss. The pain will always be there, regardless of any of the happy things I have in my life. The reality of that thought just sucks, but I have come to terms with it and accepted it. I think it has helped me move forward with my grief.
We recently went on a vacation and I was able to capture some of the little things that I thought were so beautiful. A morning walk on the beach and some seashells. I was so amazed by how many seashells there were!! Enjoying the little things……..like so many seashells!